For those who’ve been following my blog for a while you may remember me talking about being ill in the last six months or so.  While I did recover from an acute illness that I had at the end of December, I was still experiencing severe fatigue when I went in for a routine check-up in early April.  I told the doctor about my symptoms and she was concerned.  She ordered an EKG, chest X-ray, and lab work.  The results?  I had mono.  Seriously.

I’d already had mono at the end of my senior year when I was 17.  Made me miss Grad Night, in fact.  Now you may think that once you’ve had a disease, you’re immune to it.  Not so fast.  Apparently, as I have only recently learned, once you’ve had mono it’s in your system forever.  And it can be “reactivated” by severe physical and/or emotional stress.  I can’t be sure, but I’m guessing the illness I had late last year (which was definitely physically and emotionally stressful) triggered the mono.

In any case, here I am a 50-year old mother of four fighting mono.  It’s not funny.

I spent all day today in bed.  I had a lousy week dealing with various hassles – I felt like the enemy was just pushing all my buttons.  And as a result, I was thoroughly exhausted today.  I mean, I could not move.  So I decided I was just going to take the day off.  Forget the paperwork, the e-mail, the laundry (though I did end up folding one load).  My kids were on their own with meals, but the boys lucked-out because my daughter came over and fixed spaghetti.

I lay in bed all day listening to my favorite radio stations that I stream over the internet.  I got up to eat dinner with the kids, but that was about it.

In any case, I had a lot of time to think today.  I won’t share 99% of it because for the most part I was so angry at being sick that my thoughts had a decidedly angst-filled tone.  However, about midnight I was still lying in bed just resting and I started, as I often do, writing a blog post in my head.

I don’t know if any of you reading this are “writers” by nature, but I am and always have been.  And I do virtually all of my writing in my head.  I’ve literally written entire books in my head.  I can’t help it, it’s just something I do, often without even realizing it.  Any post you read on this blog has probably been written at least a couple of times in my head before I ever get to the point of sitting down with my computer.  Often they may have been written and rewritten a dozen times or more!  If I could just figure out a way to connect my brain directly to the computer I would get so much more production!

Well, I decided to share with you the post I was writing in my head.  It might make a good “guest post” somewhere, but frankly, I’d rather share it with my faithful readers!  I hope you enjoy it and that maybe it causes you to take the time to document some of your own family memories.

So this is how the post I was writing in my head started…I was thinking about a newspaper column I read once that was incredibly stupid.  I can’t say for sure that it was the “Miss Manners” column but I’m pretty sure it was, so we’ll just go with that and my apologies to Miss Manners if I’m wrong – which I’m 99.9% sure I’m not.   As a little plaque my kids gave me says – and it’s got a picture of Lucy from Peanuts because apparently I’m as crabby as she is – anyway, the plaque says, “I never made a mistake in my life.  I thought I did once, but I was wrong.”

In any case…I will grant you that in 50 years of living I’ve heard a lot of stupid things.  More than I could ever count.  And this example I’m about to relate would certainly not make the “top ten” list of stupid things I’ve ever heard, but it was still incredibly stupid.

In this column a woman was writing for advice.  Her daughter had given her a lovely framed photograph of her family – i.e. the daughter, her husband and kids.  This woman planned on hanging the picture in her bedroom because she didn’t think it was “appropriate” to hang family photographs in the living area.  Her daughter was upset, because she had assumed her mother would hang the picture where people could see it.

Can you guess what “Miss Manners” said?  I’ll bet you can’t.

Miss Manners agreed with the mother.  I kid you not.  According to her “expert” opinion, it is indeed inappropriate to hang family photographs in the living area!

To which I have to respond: then what is a “living area” for?  My house is not a museum.  It’s where we live.

I could not believe the stupidity of thinking that a HOME is supposed to be devoid of photographs of the people who live there, or are loved by those who live there.  If you agree with this mother and Miss Manners, I can assure you – you don’t ever want to come to my house.

I’ll start with my living room…on the wall facing you as you walk in is a very large framed photo of my mother, her parents, and her ten siblings.  It was taken, I believe, in 1945, which would have made my mom about seven years old.  Whenever anyone comes over to our home for the first time they are always drawn to this photo.  And I will ask them if they can guess which child is my mother.   They always get it right because there is a strong family resemblance between my mother and my daughter.

If you will now look to your right, you’ll see a half-dozen or so family photos – half of which are of my grandmother and her two sisters from when they had an act on Vaudeville called “Doll Frolics.”  They opened for quite a few famous entertainers.  I actually have a file containing newspaper clippings of ads from the papers of the dozens of cities they performed in.  These photos on my wall are approximately 90 years old.  And I should hang them in my bedroom???  They are history, for goodness sakes!  My family’s history.

Along with the photos of my grandmother and her sisters are a few pictures of my dad from his days as an entertainer.  Like his parents, he grew up singing and dancing.  (His parents were both Vaudeville entertainers, which is how they met).  In one of the pictures, my dad is only about five years old and is dancing with a lovely little girl.  One of the other pictures is possibly my favorite picture of my dad.  He’s about 18, dressed in a tux, striking a dance pose from one of the many shows he was in.  He is dashingly handsome and looks so happy.  And I should put this photograph in my bedroom because…?

On the coffee table in the living room is another picture of my dad in a dance pose, and on the end table is a picture of his dad, my grandfather.  I have only pictures to remember either of my grandfathers by, because they both died when my parents were young.

Next to the picture of my grandfather is a photo of my older brother (now deceased), me and my younger sister.  Our ages in the picture are approximately 5, 3, and 2 years old.  My sister-in-law pointed out once how much my youngest son looks like this picture of me.  I had never before seen a resemblance between this son and myself, but in this picture you can definitely see my son’s eyes shining out through my own.

I have a couple dozen photo albums on the shelves in my living room as well as some framed photos.  One is of my older brother when he was about 25.  I also have photos of my niece who passed away five years ago at the age of 19.  In addition to her pictures I have a beautiful photo of a little girl who was my friend’s daughter.  She passed away at the age of 10 of cystic fibrosis.  This photo is a precious reminder of that sweet little girl.

On another wall in my living room is a photo of my brother taken just a couple of months before he passed away at the age of 37.  I have the photo framed with a memorial card from his funeral and a quote I found in an obituary section of the newspaper.  The quote says:

Love is eternal and love is immortal and death is only a horizon.  And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.  - By Rossiter Worthington Raymond

I love this quote because it is a beautiful reminder that, for the Christian, this life is not the end, or even the best, that we have to look forward to.  There is so much more, something so much lovelier waiting for us on the other side, where our loved ones also await us.

To continue my photo tour…in the entryway you will see a dozen pictures or so of everything from my wedding day to baby pictures of my kids to my oldest son’s college graduation.  There’s also a picture of my husband and his six siblings when they were kids and there are pictures of my dad and his sister – those photos are easily 60 years old.  In addition to those photos are a series of three pictures of my parents: one shows my dad is in his Air Force uniform, the second is of my parents on their wedding day and the third was taken shortly after my older brother was born.

Down the hall towards my kids’ bedrooms are 8×10 photos that cover my four children’s “school years.”   There are only a couple missing…for instance, the year that we got hit by Hurricane Andrew I didn’t get my daughter’s third grade picture taken.  Nevertheless, this wall documents my daughter’s and sons’ childhoods – you can see not only how they grew but precisely that time when they began to change from children to young adults.  I plan to give these photos to them someday…they can show their own children the course of their growing up years!

Around the corner and down another hall are numerous collages of family members from various branches of the families…Christmas photos and family reunion photos and all kinds of miscellaneous photos that remind us of our loved ones.  The den that serves as our computer room also has its share of family photos.

My kids all have family pictures in their rooms and yes, I do have a number of photos in my bedroom as well!  (Which Miss Manners surely approves of.)

But down the hall from my bedroom I also have more family photographs – including a collage of photos that I made in memory of my cousin Paul who died at the age of 35.  Paul and I were very close, as you might gather if you saw the photo in the middle of the collage.  It was taken in the front yard of the house I grew up in, and it shows Paul and I when we were in high school…Paul’s arm is around me and we’re smiling at the camera.  How I miss that smile!

The last room we’ll visit on our tour of my home is our family room/school room.  You may be surprised to learn that this room has the least number of family photos of all the rooms in my house!  The reason is that this room doubles as our schoolroom so one wall is taken up with a timeline of the world and another wall has a giant periodic table and there are historic photos and the pledge of allegiance and the Ten Commandments and a Despair.com poster or two (just for fun).  But I do have a few pictures in this room.  One of them is of my late brother, a University of Florida Gator fan (we still managed to get along even though my family are diehard Seminole fans!)  In this photo he is wearing a Florida Gator hat and is holding a live baby alligator!  He caught this little gator one year when he went camping with some friends in the Everglades.  (No, he did not bring the gator home!)  He was in his 20’s in this photo and it might be my favorite of him.  He is so good-looking and it’s just too crazy that he’s wearing his Gator hat and holding an actual alligator.  I love it.

On the shelf next to my brother’s photo I also have a picture of my late niece, taken about a year or so before she passed away.  In it, she is pursing her lips and has a kind of, “What do you want?” look on her face.  She was an absolute knock-out and this picture of her just captures her in a sweet, yet sassy way that I love.

The last picture I will point, out as I finish our tour, is of my dad and I’ve posted it below.  For at least thirty years, my dad’s second job was as a referee/umpire at baseball, football, and basketball games.  When my parents moved from our native Miami in 1989 my dad was 55, but he still got involved in refereeing in their new hometown.  After his first surgery for cancer in 2002 he could no longer run up and down football fields as a ref, but he still managed to stay involved for a few more years, as a timekeeper at high school football games.  I believe he truly loved his years refereeing even if it meant being out at night after working a full day as a letter carrier.  In fact, a friend recently told me that in his memories of my dad he’s always wearing either his postal uniform or his referee uniform!

Several years ago my parents showed me the newspaper clipping in the photo below.  I didn’t remember ever seeing it before, though I surely must have seen it when it first came out.  The clipping is from “The Miami Herald” – from the front page of the sports section – and it’s probably about 30-35 years old.  When it came out in the paper’s sports section, understandably, my parents’ friends and family all cut out the picture from their copies of the Herald and gave them to my parents, so they had several copies.

When my parents showed me the clippings a few years ago, I took a couple of them and had one framed for my parents, and the other framed for me, for my family room.  By this time my father was already fighting the incurable cancer that we knew would take his life, and it was a special memory I wanted to preserve.

The caption, as you can see, is “Shout It Out.”  This photo was taken about the time that Shout stain-fighter was first hitting the store shelves and their tag line, “if you can’t get a stain out, shout it out” was well-known, which is obviously the reason the editor, or whoever named the photo, chose that caption.  But it is perfect, don’t you think?

To set the picture up for you a little bit…the game being played was between Hialeah High School and Norland High School.  In the caption it says that my dad called the runner out (the Hialeah player) after the catcher tagged him out at home plate.  What the photo doesn’t indicate is whether the player was stealing home, or whether the play was made after a hit.  The reason I say it’s unclear is because you have another Hialeah player behind home plate, holding a bat, and pointing at home plate.  Was he the batter who got  out of the way of the runner stealing home plate? Or was he the player on-deck who is saying to his teammate, “Hey dude, you missed the bag.”

I love the picture not only because it’s of my dad in the referee uniform we saw him in so much, but also because of his emphatic expression.  I also love the way the runner is turning around to look at my dad after the call. Is the runner thinking of arguing with the ump?  If he knew my dad, he wouldn’t have tried it!  My dad took his umpiring and refereeing duties very seriously, and you did not want to give him any grief when he was calling a game.  He’d throw you out in a heartbeat!

In any case, I know that no one can quite love this photo the way I do, unless they also knew and loved my dad.  But I still think it’s kind of fun to look at and I hope you get a kick out of it.

And if you ever do come to my house, you can see this photo and the dozens (hundreds?) of other photos spread around my house because I most certainly do not hang family pictures only in my bedroom!

First, a disclaimer: this post technically doesn’t have anything to do with homeschooling.  And yes, it is about the Bible.  So if you are only on this site because you want to know about homeschooling, I suggest you check out some of my previous posts listed in the right sidebar.  As my regular readers know, at least 95% of my posts are specifically related to homeschool advice, ideas and encouragement – such as my most recent post “9 Helpful Hints for a (Relatively) Happy Homeschool.”  So if that’s what you’re looking for – dive in, there’s plenty to keep you busy.

By the same token, if you don’t like when people talk about the Bible or share their personal religious beliefs, you might want to check out some of my previous posts or series, such as my “Getting Started” series or my “How To Teach…Anything” series.

As I said, rarely do I stray from homeschooling topics, but occasionally I feel inspired to share something non-homeschool related which I believe is informative or enlightening.  Other times I feel led to share a personal experience that just might help my readers in a different way.  And when that happens, I do go off-topic.  But you can be sure I’ll be back to homeschooling topics soon.  In fact, I have a long list of post ideas to get to.   But in the meantime, I want to talk about my favorite book of the Bible: the book of Psalms.

Why the book of Psalms?  Because I believe there’s probably not a single issue that our hearts struggle with that is not addressed, in some way, in the Psalms.

In my adult life I have read through the entire Bible multiple times.  For many years, for my personal Bible reading, I would simply begin in Genesis and read straight through.  And when I finished at the book of Revelation, I’d just start all over again.

But time and time again, when I would be going through a particularly difficult season in my life, the Holy Spirit would prompt me to delve into the book of Psalms.  And without fail, I would be comforted and strengthened.

The book of Psalms is a collection of prayers and songs that were used during times of worship in the Temple in Jerusalem, as well as in the Tabernacle before the Temple was built.  While scholars will continue to debate the actual authors, dates of authorship, etc. there is no doubt that many of the Psalms were composed by David.  Other authors were members of the Levitical priesthood.  The Levites were responsible for the care of the Tabernacle and the Temple and the ceremonies that pertained to them.  So it is understandable that they would have authored many of the Psalms.  Some of the Psalms were written to commemorate an event in the life of the king.  Often these commemorative Psalms have a prophetic quality, since the Messiah who was to come would be a descendant of King David.  In fact, on the cross Jesus quotes several times from the Psalms.  And Psalm 22:14-18 describes Christ’s crucifixion clearly.

But most of the Psalms are simply a cry from the heart of man, to the heart of God.  And time and again, God answers.  Often, in Psalm 13 for example, the Psalmist begins with an anguished cry for help, and then concludes with a declaration of praise for “he has been good to me.” (vs. 6)

In my own life, whether it was a time of extended illness or personal tragedy, I would be prompted by the Holy Spirit to go back to the Psalms, and they have never failed to give me peace or comfort or courage.

And I don’t just read the book of Psalms but I also underline words and phrases that strike to the heart of what I am feeling.  I write in the margins.  In fact, I have gone through several Bibles in my adult life – they eventually fall apart from use – and looking back through them I see actual dates next to verses that spoke to me at that point in my life.  To me these markings are like commemorative stones, they are a legacy for me of God’s faithfulness.  And maybe someday they will be a legacy for my children – they will be able to look through them to see how God spoke to me at difficult times in my life.

For example, I just pulled an old NIV Study Bible (my favorite version – in fact the Bible that I use now is another NIV Study Bible that my husband gave me for Christmas two years ago).  In my old NIV, with the cover that is falling off and that is covered from beginning to end with notes and markings and reflections, I can see that I used it at one time – probably about 20 years ago – to make some notes about homeschool plans for my two oldest children, who were very young then.  I find a note on Psalm 9 dated May 19, 1989 that says that I was praising God for his gift of healing.  At that time I was dealing with an extended illness that began with my second pregnancy and lasted long after I had given birth to my son.  My praise at that time was in faith that I would recover.  And I did – though later – twelve years ago in fact – I became ill again and have been chronically ill ever since.  But through the years of this illness I have again gone to the Psalms many times for comfort.

In another NIV Bible that I used for many years I find memories of the most difficult and trying years of my life.  As there are in many Bibles, there are pages in the front of this Bible to list births, special events, and deaths.  On that last page I find a record of my brother’s death in 1997 when he was killed by a drunk driver.  That day changed my life forever.  If you have ever experienced that kind of tragedy you know what I mean.  And if you haven’t, well I hope you never do.  Taped on the page, under the notation where I marked my brother’s death, is a cut-out from the newspaper.  My parents had put a little note in the obituary section of their paper marking the one-year anniversary of my brother’s death.  It says, “Always remembered, always missed.”  The darkness of the days, weeks, months and years following my brother’s death is impossible to describe.  I would wake every morning and go to bed every night crying.  Any time I was alone I would cry.  I would cry for hours if I found myself alone for that long (which was rare).  But I needed it.  Because the rest of my days were filled with caring for my three children who were depending on me, and I couldn’t fall apart in front of them.  So I fell apart when I was alone.

I have notes in the Psalms, with dates, from the months and years before my brother’s death and after.  One verse, Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  Next to it I have a note that says, “This is how I feel,” and it’s dated October 7, 1998 – a little over a year after my brother’s death.

The effects of my brother’s death were unpredictable.   I had never gone through an experience like this and didn’t know what to expect or how to deal with the trauma my heart was experiencing.  In the year after my brother’s death I began to have anxiety attacks.  In fact, for years after my brother’s death I would begin experiencing severe anxiety about a month or so before the anniversary of his death.  It took me a long time to figure out the connection.  Our brains are strange in how they remember and deal with events in our lives.

It certainly didn’t help matters when 18 months after my brother’s death my cousin Paul died of a rare blood disorder, at the age of 35, leaving behind a wife and 3-month old baby.  Paul was more like a brother than a cousin.  In fact, I have a lot of cousins like that because I grew up in a large, but very tight-knit, extended family on my mother’s side.  I have cousins that grew up a block away from me.  Paul’s family lived a little further away, in Hialeah (I grew up in Miami) but we spent every birthday and every holiday together for our entire childhoods.  Paul and I had a special spiritual connection as well.  In fact, when he was very ill at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, I took a week away from my family and visited with him.  I spent every day with him in the hospital that week.  Sometimes his wife would leave their tiny baby with me so she could go get something to eat, and I would rock the baby in the stroller while Paul slept and I prayed.  How I prayed.  One of the days I was there he was awake enough for us to have a very special conversation about the Lord.  It was too private to share but the memory will stay with me for the rest of my life.

When he died it was like the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  It not only broke my spirit but my body as well.  It’s the reason that I have been chronically ill for twelve years.  Less than a year after Paul died, I came down with what I thought was the flu, but I never got better.  Months of doctors’ visits and tests produced no answers.  Through research on my own I came to believe that the emotional trauma of my brother’s and cousin’s deaths had burned out my adrenal glands.  In fact, I’m firmly convinced that I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but in spite of my seeking help from at least two professional counselors, they never saw it.  I know many get help from counseling but sadly, my experience was quite different.

In any case, as I researched I began to take various supplements: vitamins, herbs, enzymes – dozens of supplements designed to help with specific issues I had related to adrenal burnout.  Unfortunately, adrenal burnout is not easily treated, especially if it is not diagnosed early, and mine wasn’t.  To this day I take handfuls of supplements every day so that I can simply function.  So that I can get out of bed and care for my family.  Because for about two years I was virtually bedridden.

Oh, did I tell you that in the middle of all this, at 40 years of age, I gave birth to my youngest child?  Between my illness and a difficult pregnancy, for more than two years the only time I left the house was for doctor’s appointments and maybe, if I had the energy, to go to the grocery store.

And during that time I turned to the Psalms again and again.  Almost in desperation, you might say.  I was emotionally drowning and the book of Psalms was my anchor.  I clung to it with all my might.

Over the years God taught me many things about himself.  About grief and loss.  My faith was utterly challenged by my brother’s death.  And when my cousin Paul died after I had spent so many hours in prayer for his healing, my soul cried out, “Why God?  Why?!”

For the record, I’ve heard many Christians say that we shouldn’t ask God “why.”  I’ve heard Christians, very respected Christians, say it’s pointless to ask God “why?”  But on the cross Jesus himself cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  You can find that in the Gospels, of course, but it’s worth pointing out here that Jesus was actually quoting Psalm 22:1.  Think about it: Jesus knew why He came here.  He knew why He was hanging on that cross.  Yet He still cried out “why?”  And I believe it was, at least partly, to let us know that it is okay to ask why.  We may never get the answer in this life but that doesn’t mean we can’t, or shouldn’t, ask.

The faith I have today in God is due to dealing with the intense grief and loss of those years.  It’s a completely different faith than I had before.  It would take too long to explain it in detail.  But I now have a truly personal faith.  I know God in a deeper way than I could have ever imagined.

Does that mean that life has been somehow easier?  Hardly.  Because in the front of that same Bible where I noted my brother’s death I have another notation.  One that I can’t look at, even all these years later, without bursting into tears.  It is a memoriam for my niece, Amanda, who was killed in a traffic accident on April 11, 2008.  She was 19 years old.

The afternoon I got the news from my dad about Amanda’s death – another horrible telephone call so reminiscent of the one I had received about my brother almost ten years earlier – I called my husband to tell him of the accident, and called my daughter to simply tell her to come home (I didn’t want to share this terrible news with her at that moment because I knew she was driving somewhere).  And then I went into my bedroom, laid myself flat out on the floor, and begged God to let it be a mistake.  I cried and begged with all my might.  But it wasn’t a mistake.

You know, there are some days when I think that I have learned to “accept” my brother’s and my cousin’s deaths.  It’s a fallacy, of course, as I am reminded whenever I unexpectedly hear a certain song that reminds me of one of them.  Or I see a picture in a photo album in the days when we were all so young and alive.  I can quite easily get caught unaware when I stumble across a photo of either of them, and that all-too-familiar gut-wrenching feeling of loss brings the tears rushing to my eyes.  They were both so handsome, and sweet, and I love them so much.

When it comes to dealing with Amanda’s death, however, I have never even imagined that I could ever accept her death.  Maybe to some that means that my faith is weak in some way.  I really don’t care what anyone thinks when it comes to my personal grief.  You can’t walk this journey for me, only I can.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve already dealt with too much tragedy, and my heart simply isn’t capable of processing another.  Or perhaps it’s because I watched that precious little girl grow up from the day of her birth.  My sister’s three oldest children and my two oldest children were all born within four years of each other.  Yes, I said that these five cousins were born in the course of just four years!  In fact, when I was barely pregnant with my oldest son – and still suffering from all-day sickness – I flew with my daughter, who was two years old, to my sister’s house in Corpus Christi, TX (where her husband was stationed in the Navy) to stay with her 18-month son, while she went into the hospital to give birth to Amanda.  I held that little girl the day she was born.  I changed her diapers and played with her and watched her grow into a beautiful young woman.  Beautiful physically, yes, but also beautiful spiritually.  And I loved her with all my heart and soul.  And I can’t deal with her death still.  That’s just the way it is.

I had thought there wasn’t any part of my heart left to be broken until Amanda died.  But I found out that I was wrong.

I don’t know how it is for other Christians, but as for myself, I agree with what the apostle Paul said in Philippians 1:21 – “To live is Christ, to die is gain.”  I don’t live this Christian life perfectly by any means, but it is my goal to live in a way that pleases God and that, especially, prepares my children for a life lived with Him – in this life, and into eternity.

But I can’t wait to set aside this earthly body that I have to constantly maintain with my regimen of supplements and exercise, to step into the next life where I will see Him face to face.  Where I will finally embrace my loved ones – not only my brother Bobby and my cousin Paul and my niece Amanda, but also my dad who passed away 14 months after Amanda’s death.  And my grandparents – I never even knew either of my grandfathers because they both died when my parents were young.  I will see my cousin Jeff who was 22 when he died in a rock-climbing accident and my cousin Bridgette who died of leukemia at the age of 39.  I have so many relatives who have passed away that it will be quite a family reunion.

I am going to tell you a little story that I have never told anyone.  You may think it sounds weird, and I don’t share it lightly.  But before I relate my story I need to tell you something right up front for clarification.  As much as our hearts may long to reconnect with loved ones who have gone before us, the Bible makes it very clear that we are not to attempt to contact the dead.  (Leviticus 20:27)  The Bible is adamant that this practice is completely forbidden.  This means that we should steer clear of any of these types of associations, including watching television programs that feature “mediums” who claim to be able to contact the dead.  Our modern culture often embraces a “spirituality” that is not biblically sound.  So, once again, I want to be clear that I abide by the Bible’s instruction that mediums are not to be consulted, ever.

That being said, after my brother’s death I began to understand the longing I would hear in the voice of someone who had lost a close loved one.  I began to understand the stories that my great-aunt had related to me after my grandmother died.  My grandmother and my “Beba” (as we called her) were twin sisters who, because my great-aunt never married, had lived together most of their lives.  After my grandmother’s death, I would occasionally help Beba by driving her around so she could get to the grocery store and take care of other errands.  One day I was visiting with her in the house she had shared with my grandmother for decades.  She told me she had had a vision of my grandmother walking with Jesus in their backyard.  My grandmother had looked straight at her and said, “Don’t worry, I’m with Him now.”  It still gives me chills to think about.  My Beba was a godly woman, so I had no reason to doubt that God had indeed given her a vision to comfort her.  In fact, when she told me the story it was very reminiscent of the Apostle Paul’s description of being taken into the “third heaven.”  (2 Corinthians 12:2)  When Beba shared her story she said she didn’t even know if she was awake or asleep when she had her vision!  But she remembered it vividly.

Beba also told me that she would often walk into a room and start to talk to my grandmother, only to remember that she was no longer with her.  Beba died only a few months after my grandmother.  She had no apparent illness.  I firmly believe she died of a broken heart.

But that is my great-aunt’s story, not my story, the one I have not told anyone until now.

Through the years of experiencing numerous deaths in my family I have come to believe that God may very well send our deceased family members to us, to accompany us on our final journey.  Don’t ask me to quote chapter and verse on that.  It’s simply something I have heard on too many occasions.  For instance, when one of my aunts was dying of cancer, in the weeks before her death she said that she often saw her sister, my aunt Terri, who had died 14 years earlier.  I certainly believe God sends angels to accompany us Home.  There are numerous accounts in the Bible, and in recorded literature, of people seeing angels during times of great difficulty or when they are nearing death.

In my case, I had an experience a few months ago that was, for me, very beautiful.  I was in my house late at night, and I was walking through the hallway to my bedroom when I heard or sensed something.  Now, I realize it could have been anything.  And the truth is I don’t know what it was.  What I do know is that when I got this feeling of having heard or sensed something, the thought flew into my head – “it’s Bobby – he’s come to take me Home!”  Bobby is my deceased brother.  Why I thought that, I don’t know, but as soon as that thought came into my mind I experienced a joy that I can’t describe.  Elation would probably be the best way to describe it.  There was no sense of fear at all, only pure joy.  And then it was gone.  The whole experience, from the time I “sensed” something and had the thought that it was my brother come to take me Home, along with the brief but profound feeling of joy, probably lasted only ten seconds.  But it was wonderful.  Like a taste – just a little taste – of the ecstasy I will experience when the time comes for my Savior to speak my name and for me to step into the next life.  A life in which I have been promised there are no more tears, only unending joy – where there is a “room” that Jesus has prepared especially for me.  (John 14:2)

I look forward with longing to that day.  But in the meantime, I have His Word.  And especially, I have the Psalms.

Recently I’ve been going through a tough time.  I’ve been having a hard time physically, after dealing with an acute illness that I am very glad to say I have recovered from.  However, the illness itself, along with the doctor’s visits and the tests and the crazy insomnia that took over my body, really took the wind out of my sails and I’ve been experiencing debilitating fatigue for months now.  I’ve been dealing with emotional issues as well.

And a couple of weeks ago the Holy Spirit whispered to me again, “Go back to the Psalms.”

So I did.  And once again I am writing in the margins of my Bible and underlining and dating verses.  God is speaking to me in a powerful way – just what I need to hear now – dealing with what I am struggling with in this season of my life.

I don’t know about you, but I hate going through hard times.  I remember once hearing a woman talk on the radio about how God allows the hard times in our lives to “build our character.”  Then she made a remark that made me laugh, because I so understood where she was coming from.  She said, “I’d rather be shallow.”

Now, of course, she was being facetious.  Or at least partly.  But I get it.  I’ve often thought that myself, “Lord, couldn’t you just let my life be easy?  I wouldn’t mind being shallow.”  But that’s not how the Christian life works.  One thing I have learned is that true Christianity always has a cross.  So if we’re not paying some kind of price to live the Christian life, maybe our Christianity isn’t all that authentic.

And so, I recommend, if you haven’t guessed it already, that if you are going through a tough time – open the Psalms.  It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of some Bible study at your church or other group, or your own personal Bible study, and it would get things “out of order.”  Just read a chapter or two a day.  In fact, if you find a Psalm that speaks to you particularly, re-read it…and re-read it again.  Let it soak into your spirit.

Perhaps the book of Psalms will become your favorite book of the Bible as well.

In my last post I pointed out that “Homeschooling911” actually started as a book idea – that my original goal was to write a book that would give homeschoolers the tools they needed to continue to homeschool even when life got complicated…or worse.  While “Homeschooling911” did ultimately evolve from a book idea to a website, and while I have actually spent almost two years sharing the “nuts-and-bolts” of homeschooling with prospective and current homeschoolers, I still want to be of assistance to those who are in the middle of a crisis, tragedy or challenge of any kind.

And it became even clearer to me recently that I needed to address this subject while going through an unexpected and unwelcome challenge of my own.  I won’t go into details but I was very ill during the latter half of December and the beginning of January.  The problems actually started in early November but escalated in the week before Christmas, to the point where I ended up in the ER on December 22^nd and subsequently spent hours (and thousands of dollars) on doctor’s appointments, lab work and other unpleasantness.

In the middle of this, not knowing how long it would take for me to regain my health I began to plan what I would do with my 4^th grader for school once the “Christmas break” ended.  I decided that I would start with only committing to one subject a day, and that subject would be math.  If I managed to do anything else with him, that would be gravy, but math would be my first priority.

And that brings me back to what I discussed in part one of this “mini-series” – when life throws you a curveball, you need to do two things in order to continue to homeschool successfully: prioritize and be flexible.

If you haven’t read that post yet, I suggest you do that right away.  It’s okay, I’ll wait…

So you’re back.  Having read that post you now know that I discussed, in a general way, why I believe prioritizing and being flexible are so crucial to dealing with disaster, change, turmoil and the complications of life – and that’s true for anyone, but particularly for those of us who have taken on the additional responsibility of homeschooling our children.

In this post I am going to go into specifics.  I am going to share those tactics that actually helped me deal with tragedy, turmoil and circumstances that turned my life upside down.  And I firmly believe that these tactics will help you as well.  I also believe that you can continue to homeschool when your life becomes topsy-turvy.

As I pointed out in my previous post, in order to prioritize in difficult times you must learn to be flexible.  If you need to throw a temporary tantrum because of all of your wonderful plans have gone awry, by all means do!  But after you’ve had your fit, take a deep breath, and start prioritizing.  What do your children really need, right now in order to continue to progress in their studies?  What can be put aside for next week, next month, or even next year?

I will contend (and I’m not claiming any kind of special knowledge because this seems pretty obvious) that your children really only need three things in terms of their schooling – those three things are traditionally called “the three ‘R’s.”

Mathematics, reading and writing are the foundation of your child’s education.  Everything else is gravy.  If your child can read, they can find information for themselves.  If they have a solid grasp of mathematics, they can interact with their world in any number of circumstances.  And if they have been trained in composition skills so they can communicate effectively, well, they’ll be ahead of the vast majority of their peers.

I also believe that the order of importance of those three subjects matters, and I put them in the order I have for a reason.  I will explain why below.  When tough times come, and they will, I believe if you follow the methods I have used you can’t go wrong!

Mathematics: At the beginning of this post I mentioned my decision to focus solely on mathematics with my fourth-grader while I was dealing with a debilitating illness.  Why math?  Unlike other subjects, math is the one subject that constantly builds upon previously learned facts and material – and unlike other subjects it also tends to need constant review in order to make those facts and material “stick.”

For example, once your child learns to read, they are not going to forget how to read.   Sure, you will want them to read more challenging material over time, but they will still know how to read.  But will your child forget their addition or multiplication facts?  Will they forget how to multiply fractions or do long division?  In a heartbeat!  Math is the one subject that, more than any other, you must stick with come heck or high water.

So when life goes crazy and you need to prioritize, make sure your kid is getting in their math – whether that involves you sitting down with them, or an older sibling teaching them, or they work on a computer math program or watch DVD’s – whatever you do, keep up with their math.  And if you’re smart you’ll do like I do – once my kids are in sixth or seventh grade they are responsible for completing about 75% of their work independently.  Tell them to do math first.  Every day.  No excuses.

Reading: How you deal with reading in your “prioritizing” depends on the ages of your children.  For young children learning to read, the world will not end if you put their reading program away for a little while.  On the other hand, the two keys I recommend you use when teaching your child to read involve little to no help from you at all.  I discuss this in depth in my post “How to: Teach Your Child to Read” but, in a nutshell, if you use Leapfrog
materials (particularly their phonics DVD’s) and the “Explode the Code” phonics workbooks, your kids are almost guaranteed to learn to read – and with little involvement on your part.  Frankly, many of the phonics programs I have looked at make learning to read way more complicated than it needs to be.  And granted, all kids are different – but the “Explode the Code” workbooks are so solid that I believe few kids would have trouble learning to read if they are used consistently.  And fortunately, they don’t require much time at all.  Spend 15 minutes a day, at most, and you will see results.

Now if your children are older and already reading – well that just makes things even easier!  Forget the grammar, vocabulary, spelling, etc. for a while.  If your kids know how to read, give them things to read.  Have them carry a book everywhere they go.  Have them read to you, if you feel like it.  Or have them read to their younger siblings.  I especially recommend you assign them a series of books.  For kids in 2^nd to 4^th grade, say – assign them the Boxcar Children series.  For kids in 5^th to 7^th grade, for example, you could assign the Ralph Moody series that starts with Little Britches (fantastic series by the way – based on Moody’s life these stories show kids that are resourceful, responsible and respectful).  For even older kids, get them into Charles Dickens or G. A. Henty or Jane Austen.  Reading several books by the same author can help your children with their own writing skills as well.  They learn to recognize an author’s voice and can better understand how to find their own voice when writing.  Which brings me to:

Writing: There are two components to writing: the mechanics of handwriting, and the creativity of composition.  When life gets complicated, you can certainly scrap the handwriting program for a time.  Penmanship is something you’ll work on with your kids for years – and all the work you do doesn’t guarantee your kids will end up with good penmanship as I know only too well.  My daughter has nice handwriting as does my middle son but my oldest son’s handwriting is atrocious.  But so what?  He spends most of his time on the computer anyway!  So yes, I do work on handwriting as part of our curriculum (I use “A Reason for Handwriting”) but it’s very hit-and-miss around here.  It’s certainly not a huge priority and can be put aside for quite a while if necessary.

Composition is another thing.  Now first of all, if you have kids under the age of 11 or 12, don’t even bother!  You see how much work I just saved you!  I realize there are some homeschooling philosophies that involve a LOT of writing on the part of your little students.  I think it’s a waste of time.  Just my opinion!

For one thing, narration bores me to death.  I know it’s an integral part of the Charlotte Mason school of thought.  I tried it…and it put me to sleep.  I don’t think we even lasted a week.  And the other school of thought that you should have your child tell you a story while you write it down – another snooze-fest as far as I’m concerned.

And frankly, I believe that composing written work is far too abstract a concept to be assigning to your kids while they’re still mastering fractions and long division.  Now I want you to understand me here: if you have a child that likes making up stories, by all means let them!  And be sure to throw that in your lesson plan schedule when they come to you with something they’ve created (whether by hand or on the computer).  My youngest loves to create stories and cartoons.  So I let him.  But I don’t assign stories or essays.

Once your child is somewhere between 5^th and 7^th grades, then it’s time to think about a composition program.  And the only one I ever found, after years of searching, that’s worth its salt is “Write With the Best.”  WWTB comes in two volumes and you can easily get three to four years worth of composition instruction out of these two volumes if you take your time.  “Write With the Best” also includes lessons in grammar so you can throw away that extra grammar curriculum.

Another thing I like to do with WWTB is to use the literature assignments as a basis for reading assignments.  For instance, WWTB uses passages from famous literature to teach a specific concept, such as writing a descriptive paragraph or an expository essay.  Rather than just have my child read that one excerpt, I have them read the whole book.  So, for example, as part of using WWTB my middle son read Treasure Island, The Wind in the Willows, and Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.  “Write With the Best” is simply a fabulous program and if you have kids ages 12 and up, you should be using it!

So to sum up:  How do you tackle tough times as a homeschooler?  Well, first of all you need to decide that you are going to be flexible and you are going to prioritize your studies based on what your kids really need, which I believe would be, in this order: mathematics, reading and writing.

Now depending on the legal situation in your state you may need to insert more studies into your schedule BUT, if that is the case, I encourage you to be creative.  If you’re a relative “newbie” to the homeschooling scene, get some advice from veteran homeschoolers.  I’m sure one of two of them have been through tough times and have figured out ways to satisfy the government’s requirements while staying sane.  (And for the record, I think it is deplorable what some states require from homeschoolers…as if the public schools are producing 100% academic stars???)

When I say “be creative” I am suggesting, for example, that some of your everyday activities be counted as schoolwork – whether those activities are cooking meals, helping out with a relative in a crisis situation, or even just spending time reading good books or watching some nature DVD’s.  Everything “homeschooling” doesn’t have to mean sitting at a desk with a textbook!

Finally, I want to encourage you to look at the “big picture.”  Whatever hell you might be going through, you will get through it.  I know that isn’t very comforting when you’re in the middle of a tragedy.  I lost my brother in 1997 when he was killed by a drunk driver – he was 37 years old.  I lost my niece in 2007 when she was killed in a traffic accident – she was 19.  I’ve been through tragedy.  The kind that makes you almost wish you would lose your mind because the pain hurts so bad.  Through it all, by the grace of God, I continued to homeschool.  And I’m so thankful I did.

And you can too.  It doesn’t require Supermom powers.  It just requires some determination and, as I learned in my own life, a decision to be flexible and prioritize your child’s studies.

If you have any questions or just need a little encouragement you can leave a comment below or, if you’d rather keep it private, fill out my contact form and I will get back to you personally.

And if you have any tips related to how you homeschooled through tough times, please share them in the comments.  We all need some encouragement from time to time.

If you’ve read my post titled “Why Homeschooling911?” you know that this website originally started as a book idea.  The idea I had in mind was to share the experiences in my life that had been at times extremely stressful, and at other times utterly tragic, and to share the truth that it is more than possible to continue homeschooling through, as I called them, “life’s big and little emergencies.”

Where did this book idea come from?  Well, there’s something I have found out about life: it happens.  Just because you homeschool doesn’t mean you are going to be exempt from: the death of a loved one, sickness, a job loss, or some other upheaval that affects your life in a profound way.  Homeschoolers always seem to be surprised that situations come along that throw their well-laid plans into disarray.  I even recently read in one forum a question about dealing with these kinds of disruptions, as if there is a secret formula for continuing to breeze along with your homeschool objectives when the kids are sick or you’re sick or you need to attend a funeral or you suddenly have to up-and-move because your husband’s company transferred him…but the bottom line is that life happens to all of us and there is no “secret formula.”  However, there are coping mechanisms you can put into place so that you can not only continue to homeschool, but you can do so in a way that can provide teaching moments for your children that come no other way.

When life happens, as a homeschooler, you need to learn to adjust and adapt.  You need to do what I discussed in a guest post titled “Homeschool Survival: How to Get Through Tough Times” at The Survival Mom website.  What I recommended in that post was a two-pronged approach to getting through tough times: prioritize and be flexible.

Prioritize: When life sends you a curveball you need to learn to do more than duck.  And one of the best things you can do in terms of your homeschool is to realize it is YOUR homeschool.  You have the right to do or not do any certain subject today or tomorrow or the next day.  Granted, I realize that some states are more demanding than the state of Florida in regards to what you have to teach and how many days you have to teach, etc.  But I guarantee you there are ways to be creative in terms of fulfilling your obligations in regards to your state government and local school board and I strongly encourage you to make the most of all the resources available to you including, and especially, the resources which your state homeschool organization can provide to help you when you are facing a turbulent time in your life.

That being said, I learned a long time ago that when, say, a hurricane came through and flattened my city, that it was okay to scale back on what I was teaching.  That it was perfectly fine to say, “Hey, this year we’re just going to pass on history.  We’ll get to that next year.”  Believe it or not, IT WORKS.  Every time I have gone through a disastrous and/or traumatic situation in my life, whether it was Hurricane Andrew or a move across-state or the sudden death of my brother in 1997 – when I got back to the basics – the “three R’s” if you will – it worked every time.  There was less stress on me, which benefitted me and my kids, and my children’s education did not suffer.  In Part Two of this little “series” I am going to discuss in detail what I mean by scaling back and how that might look for you.  I hope you’ll come back and read that post because I believe it will help you and – if you share it – who knows, you just might help someone else who is struggling to homeschool while going through a tough time.

Flexibility: The second key to surviving tough times as a homeschooler is to learn flexibility.  In reality, flexibility and prioritizing go together.  It’s hard to prioritize and eliminate some of the extraneous elements of homeschooling if you can’t be flexible.  Being flexible may even mean taking a month off, or handing the homeschooling reins over to an older child who can supervise their younger siblings.  What works for you and your family will be an individual decision.  But flexibility in homeschooling is key – and at the risk of offending someone – being flexible doesn’t have to mean putting your kids in school.  In fact, I am a strong believer that continuing to homeschool through the hard times is actually a win for your kids.  What do I mean by that?  When you continue to homeschool through hard times your children learn some valuable lessons that they will likely learn no other way.

Think about it: your children will learn how to deal with difficulty.  Yes, they may see you grieve – but that’s okay.  They will learn that grieving is part of life.  They will see how being flexible can serve them well when they encounter tough times in their own adult life.  They will learn how a family can pull together to help one another and to be a blessing to one another and maybe even to other family members who are a part of this challenging time in your life.

During the very difficult times in my life, such as after Hurricane Andrew blew through our community in 1992, homeschooling actually provided stability to my children.  While other families were scrambling to figure out when their kids would go to school and where their kids would go to school – considering that many schools had been blown away – our family, though we spent the next six weeks living with various family members, kept right on going…we just took school along with us!

In 1997 when my brother was killed by a drunk driver and I had to take a flight out immediately to be with my parents, I found out that the training I had provided my daughter – who was 13 at the time – had indeed paid off.  My husband was to drive down with my kids the day after I flew to my parents but he had to tie up loose ends at work since he would be out-of-town for several days.  During that time my daughter did all the laundry and all the packing for herself, her two brothers, and my husband!  I was actually astounded at the way she stepped up and took over the duties that normally I would have taken care of.  And in the months ahead, when I made several trips to my parents’ home to help them with various issues (such as meeting with the state attorney to discuss the case against the man who had killed my brother) my daughter again took over the reins including planning and cooking all the meals.  The only thing she couldn’t do was the shopping as she was too young to have a driver’s license!  She cared for her brothers, the house, everything.  This is one of those hidden benefits of homeschooling that I talked about.  And if my kids had been in school during that time, it would have been very difficult for me to get away as often as I did.  Too many don’t realize the tremendous blessing homeschooling can be not just in the good times, but in the tough times as well.

I would encourage you to take a new look at the way you approach your homeschool.  I don’t believe it should be compartmentalized into something you do “X” hours a day.  One of the false claims by those who oppose homeschooling is that it doesn’t prepare children for “life.”  On the contrary, I believe school attendance creates a completely artificial view of life (and often leads to the entitlement mentality too many young people exhibit these days).  In fact, homeschooling is the only school option that actually exposes children to real life, with all its complications, stresses, and trials.  And only homeschooling can provide the teaching platform to help your children learn how to deal with “real life” before they are out on their own managing their own lives and confronting their own challenges.

So I encourage you: don’t be afraid to homeschool through the tough times.  It is not only manageable, it will provide benefits to your children that will last a lifetime.  Stay tuned for Part Two of “Tackling Tough Times,” where I will discuss further some ways to put prioritizing and flexibility into practice.

And don’t forget to share this post with your network.  The “share” button below offers many options for doing just that!

If you are a regular reader of my blog you may have noticed that I have been somewhat MIA this month.  I did spend the first part of the month studying for the final exam in my history class (I’m working on finishing an English Lit degree at Florida State University).  That class was a beast.  One of the worst I’ve ever had.  I did end up with a B+ in the class in part due to the excellent job my 18-year old son did quizzing me!  By the way, I had a brainstorm a week or so before the exam to put together a timeline of all the events that I might be tested on.  Got out a roll of brown Kraft paper and cut about five feet of it, then taped it to my family room floor!  I wrote down all the dates (in order) for the dozens of events that had been covered the second half of the semester – this professor was VERY big on dates – and then my son quizzed me from that.  So…might be an idea for you to use for your homeschool some time!

Once I got my exam out of the way, I thought I’d have a few relaxing weeks for “Christmas break” but alas, I have been quite sick.  So sick I ended up in the ER last week on IV fluids.  I will spare you the details of how long it took the nurse(s) to get needles into my little veins but suffice it to say that my daughter, who was with me, told me later she thought she was going to pass out.  I’m still on meds and supposed to be following up with my doctor and I would certainly appreciate your prayers!

In any case, last year around this time I offered a “wrap-up” that linked to the most popular posts on my blog for that year.  So in the interest of consistency, and also for the benefit of my newer readers, I have compiled a list of the most popular posts of 2011.  I based my decision of what posts to include primarily on the number of readers who commented (for better or for worse!) but in the case of the last two posts listed, they were also two of the most “visited” posts of the year.

The Myth of Socialization
My Definition of an Adult
Homeschooling Your High Schooler
A Christian Marriage Reality Check
A Comment About Rascal Flatts
Making the Most of a Home School Conference
How To: Teach Math Concepts
How To: Teach Math Drills
How To: Teach Your Child To Read
How To: Teach Language Arts

Finally, if you don’t want to miss any of my posts in 2012 be sure to sign up to be notified of new posts either via RSS feed or my e-mail newsletter.  Just go to the top of this page and fill out the e-mail form or click on the feed.  And to all those who have read and/or shared my blog this year: Thank You!

It’s that time of year again!  Here in North Florida it’s cold, sometimes sunny, sometimes blustery (à la Winnie the Pooh).  My youngest is over-the-top excited about Christmas decorations and presents and my 18-year old and I are in the throes of studying for final exams (okay, that doesn’t really fit with the season but it’s a fact of my life!)

Last year at this time I wrote several holiday posts that were rather well-received and so I thought I would put the links for them all together in one place for your reading pleasure.

The first three posts offer practical tips and are, perhaps, at times humorous:

• Home-School Credit and Other Christmasy Thoughts
• Be the Boss of Your Holiday!
• Overdosing On Turkey? 

This next post is much more serious and was written based on my experience of going through the holidays after experiencing a great tragedy in my life.  It was one of my most trafficked posts last year.  If you have experienced a loss this year, or know someone who has, this post might just help you cope a little better with the emotional roller-coaster the holidays can be:

Tips for Coping with Grief During the Holidays

Finally, if you still need to get a gift or two for one of your kids, check out my recent post:

10 Smart Gift Ideas for Kids 

The gift suggestions in the above post are great not only for kids but for families and the “big kids” in your life as well!

I hope that these posts encourage, inspire, or help you in some way.  Feel free to share them using the  ”widgets” you find below.  You never know who might need some encouragement or inspiration today!

My regular readers may have noticed that I did not post any new material this past week.  There is a reason for that.  I was in Miami (Florida) last weekend for the “Bird Road Baby Boomers” reunion at Tropical Park.

Now if you’re not from Miami you’re probably scratching your head wondering exactly what (or who) are the “Bird Road Baby Boomers.”  Allow me to explain.

I grew up in Miami, lived there for most of the first 34 years of my life, in fact.  Moreover, I am a second-generation Miami native since my mom was born there as well (in Coral Gables).  Again, that may not mean much to you if you’re not from the area, but you have to realize that up until the early part of the last century, Miami was little more than a one-horse town with a lovely beach area that was home to a number of gangsters (Al Capone, for example, had a place on Miami Beach).  In fact, even in the middle part of the 20^th century there was still plenty of room for families to come in and put down roots, which they finally started doing because by that time there was a way to control the mosquitoes and you could make a home *almost* bearable with fans and, later, window air conditioners.

As a Floridian I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for central air conditioning.  I grew up in a home with no air-conditioning and I can still remember lying in bed on a summer night unable to sleep because I was sweating (or rather, perspiring) so profusely.  Furthermore, the air coming in through the open windows was so still and hot that, if anything, it just made things worse.  I can also remember going to high school and wondering how a certain friend could look so amazing when we were in classrooms that were easily 95 degrees with humidity of close to 100%.  She said her secret was talcum powder.  Somehow it never worked quite so well for me.

In any case, one of the (many) main drags in Miami is 40^th Street, known to the locals as “Bird Road.”  It is the site for one of the best pizza places in the world: Frankie’s Pizza – and you can even get their pizza shipped to you!  It also is home to Tropical Park which started out as a horse track (they were still racing horses there when I was a kid) and later turned into a huge park for various recreational and exercise facilities along with a stadium where the local high schools played football.  It now also houses an “equestrian center” which is where the Bird Road Baby Boomers event was held last weekend.

The concept for the event, a clever one I think, was to invite alumni of the baby boomer generation that had attended the various public high schools in the vicinity (a half-dozen or so) to a big-time reunion that would allow friends from different classes and schools to reconnect and also, to raise money for Alzheimer’s research.

I had missed my 30-year high school reunion two years ago due to me and my kids coming down with swine flu so when I heard that someone from my class of 1979 was planning a “birthday party” as a bash within a bash, I said, “Sign me up!”

Which brings me to a secret that I now must share to my chagrin – I am turning 50 this month.  You see, the reason for the “birthday party” for those of my graduating class is that this is the year that most of us are turning 50.  Ouch.  And for the record, I contend that all those people who smugly assert that “age is just a number” have been reading way too many motivational posters.  I would suggest a steady diet of “De-Motivational” posters starting with perhaps this one: Self-Esteem.

I’ve got plenty of body parts that can attest to the fact that age is not “just a number.”  My creaky hip for one.  But never mind that.

Frankly, I can see that there are a few good aspects to turning 50.  For most of us, once we hit our 30’s and especially 40’s (and beyond) we begin to see how incredibly stupid most humans under the age of 25 are.  And I’m not talking about book-smarts or even, necessarily, uneducated.  I mean they actually believe that, for instance, their actions have no consequences.  The truly sad thing is when you see someone in their 30’s or, for that matter, in their 70’s that still believes that their actions have no consequences.  They are generally the people whose family members are no longer speaking to them and whose friends are either long-gone or just as messed-up as they are.  Age is supposed to bring experience and wisdom.  Even if sometimes that wisdom comes from walking through some hard times.

I also think that turning 50 grants me a certain license to be lazy, indifferent, or even a little loopy.  Not in an irresponsible manner, mind you.  Not in any way that would hurt someone else.  But why, for goodness sake, shouldn’t I take a nap if I feel like it?  Or scream like a crazy person at a Seminoles football game?  I mean, I’ve lived half a century, darn it!

On the other hand, life at 50 for me is not quite like life at 50 for most women.  In the days leading up to the Bird Road Baby Boomers bash, I was communicating via e-mail with one of the coordinators about some questions I had.  I mentioned that I was a member of the “Fabulous at 50” group.  In my e-mail I remarked that, by having our own little “bash within a bash” celebrating our 50^th birthdays, we were sort of trying to turn lemons into lemonade.  Her reply was something along the lines that “in your 50’s it’s all lemonade.”  In other words, your kids are grown, you’re enjoying your grandchildren, and you have the time and money to travel and pursue your own interests.

There’s just one problem.  Actually it’s a joy, but nevertheless, what it amounts to is that I am not in the stage of life where: my kids are all grown, I’m enjoying my grandchildren and I have the time and money to travel and play.

I do have two grown children (no grandchildren yet, but that’s okay!) but I also have two children that I’m still homeschooling and one of them is only nine!  I’m in the throes of getting my high school senior son applied to college and college scholarships all the while I am teaching my nine-year old long division.  And while I generally like math, I hate long division.  It goes against all the other rules of solving equations and it’s just annoying.

In any case, I made it to Miami where I attended two events: one on Friday night for the members of my class of ’79, and another on Saturday where I got to see those classmates again as well as a number of other people that were not in my class but that I had known well at one point in my life.  Many of the people I reconnected with that weekend were, in fact, people I had gone to elementary school with and who had lived in my neighborhood!  It was wild.  I had an absolute blast.  (And while it’s dry as dust in Tallahassee right now it rained both days in Miami and I managed to get soaked at both events!  Oh well.  Living life on the edge, right?)

Well, I might not be exactly living life on the edge.  Unlike one of my (female) cousins who is only two months older than me, I am most definitely not jumping on my Harley to travel the country.  But that’s okay.  I have the pleasure of snuggling on the couch with my nine-year old listening to the classical composers, or laughing over a funny story, or solving long division problems.  Actually, maybe we should just move on to fractions.  Yeah, let’s do that!

P.S.  For those who would say that reunions like this are (à la #15 and maybe #24 of The Bitter Home-Schooler’s Wish List) a reason why kids should not be homeschooled because they would miss out on the wonderful memories and camaraderie, I say, “Pshaw!”  (Yes, it’s a word!)  My daughter still keeps in touch with homeschooling friends she grew up with and, moreover, she has been a member for many years of the Home School Alumni organization.  HSA has members from all over the country who get together for national conferences as well as smaller regional and local events.  My daughter has coordinated and attended some of these events and made many wonderful friends as a result.  If you have a child who has graduated, or will soon be graduating, your homeschool program, make sure they check out HSA!

A few weeks ago – May 3^rd to be exact – marked the one-year anniversary of the launch of this website.  It actually kind of snuck past me a little but when I realized that I had reached this milestone I decided that I wanted to do something to celebrate it.  But rather than give myself a party or present I decided to offer an opportunity to my readers to win something for themselves.

So here’s the deal.  I am giving away, to one lucky reader, one of the following books:

• Homeschooling: The Right Choice
• The Seven Laws of the Learner
• Write With the Best, Volume 1

The entry requirements are easy-peasy.  They are as follows:

1. Leave a comment here telling me how wonderful I am.  Okay, just kidding.  All you have to do is tell me which book you want.  You don’t even have to tell me why you want the book.  For all I know you’re going to re-gift it or something.
2. Due to shipping costs I have to limit this giveaway to my readers who live in the continental United States.
3. If you are the winner you will need to give me a physical address so that I can send you your book!

It doesn’t get much easier than that does it?!  If you aren’t familiar with the books I am offering you can click on the links above to read my reviews then come back to this post to let me know which book you want. 

Just a couple more details: Entries will close at 11:59 pm EST on Friday, May 27^th.  If you are the lucky winner I will send you an e-mail so I can get your address.  You’ll have 48 hours to respond.  If I don’t hear back from you during that time frame I’ll select another winner.

So what are you waiting for?!  Homeschooling + a free book…doesn’t get much better than that!

If you have been reading my blog for awhile then you know that I launched this website in May of this year.  As I look back on the last seven months of blogging, reviewing, and answering your questions, the first thing I want to do is express my appreciation to every single person who has read this blog, shared it, subscribed to it, and especially those who have taken the time to comment on it.  I have also had some wonderful guests post here.

Besides taking the time to thank my readers I also wanted to take a moment to wrap up what has been an interesting (and learning!) experience by sharing the posts that have seemed to strike a chord, based on the traffic they received and/or the number of comments that were posted.

Have You Ever Done This? – What to do when you’ve had “one of those days.”
Why Homeschooling911? - The concept behind Homeschooling911 revealed…
How Home Schooling Is Like Learning To Drive A Car – A discussion of how the work and rewards of home-schooling are like learning to drive a car!
The Bitter Home-Schooler’s Wish List - 25 Answers to those comments all home-schoolers love to hear.
What Do The Miami Dolphins Have To Do With Home-Schooling? – Yes, I proudly admit that I LOVE football.
It’s Funny How… - A reflection on some of the ironies of life.
Six Workbooks That Work! - These workbooks can be a welcome addition to any curriculum.
Sonlight: A Literature-Based Approach to Learning – A review of a popular and effective curriculum.

In addition to posting here on my own website I was privileged to guest post on several other blogs.  Also I was featured at a few places around the web including:

• Mister Good Guy where I was part of the Mona Lisa Million Project
• Potter on Purpose where I was the subject of a podcast interview
• The New York Times where, at their request, I submitted a mini op-ed entitled “The Home-School Advantage”

Beginning in January I am going write a series of posts on “How to…” teach specific subjects.  I would encourage you, if you haven’t already, to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter or RSS feed so that you don’t miss out on these informative posts.  You can find the sign-up form and feed on the top right-hand side of this page.  Again, thank you for taking the time to read and share Homeschooling911.  I look forward to “seeing you” in 2011!

 From left to right: Son #1, age 22; Son #3, age 8; Son #2, age 17; and The Lone Daughter, age 26.

 They are a handsome bunch if I do say so myself!

My Christmas card to you:  If you have welcomed a new family member this year, congratulations!  If you are missing a loved one today, may God give you comfort.  And finally, may you have many moments, as this year passes into history, cherishing those around you – for they are God’s gift to you.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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